Happy Birthday Finn!!

Sorry I am too sick to give you proper birthday love, hopefully the grandparents are doing that for ya!

Sloppy fun sewing and some other stuff

I just want to say thank you for your lovely comments about my Postpartum body post, 

and also thank you to my husband, who always thinks I am beautiful and tells me constantly, helping me to believe it. 

And thank you hAha for making me feel comfortable in front of a camera. You always help me to capture these memories and make my vision a reality in your photos.

Today my sister in law Miss Pipsta blogged about her awesome homemade laundry detergent. I want to make some of that myself! Who wouldn't want to save money on something you use daily! if you are interested in her recipe check it out here.

So glad you started a blog girlie, you've got so much to give!

SO over the weekend I stole Pip's sewing machine and set out to make a few things.

I chose simple projects, that I could complete quickly during the few moments I might have free hands. It still took me forever and was some of the worst sewing I have done in a while but it was good to have my hands busy doing something other than rocking a baby.

First I took an old black cardigan of mine and chopped it up to make a sweater for Alfy.

It was really easy, the hardest part was working with the knit.

It is so cute on him, and that makes up for all the crooked seems and rough edges.

Next I made him a pair of little shoes, from scrap pieces of fabric using a pair hAha made as an example.

And then I took a pair of 0-3 mo jeans that were about as wide as I am and took them in to fit my baby boy. Voila quick cute outfit.

Do you remember my post about Urban Outfitter's pillows?

Well I decided to make my own. I used a white flat sheet, charcoal grey fleece, and light grey felt, to make these...

By using fabric that doesn't fray at the edges it made this a super simple project that just adds an element of fun to our bed. 

Yay for getting my sewing fix in!!

Tober Cake is sick and needs extra love and attention right now, meaning every time I can put Alf down I must so that she can crawl into my arms. My back hurts, my house is a mess and one kid is almost always crying.
I think it is safe to say I check the clock often to see if it is almost time for Jones to come home! :)

{Tober buckled her bear into Boo's car seat.}

A Postpartum body

{Photos by hAha}

Today we are getting up close..

And personal with how I feel about my postpartum body.

I got my stretch marks when I was pregnant with C, I tried the lotions but nothing helped. After He was born, and I looked down at my literally shredded stomach I felt a sort of pride for them and what I had just been through. 

I call them my Tiger stripes. 

They are soft and opalescent.

 They are not the only thing that is soft.

I laugh because my belly button is a good 3 inches higher than it use to be.

Over the last five years I have been pregnant or nursing for over four of them.

I have been through five sizes of clothing {and bras!}, and in very different stages of physical fitness. 

This body, in comparison to where it was 3 weeks ago, is great.

It can eat without heartburn, go half a day with out having to pee, walk without pain, and many other wonderful things, 

But this body doesn't quite feel like me.

You would think since this is my third time doing this I would have it figured out but I am still learning.

I am learning things like how to dress this body.

How to share my body with the whole family, and still feel like it's mine!

 I am learning to be ok with the pudge and that I can be sexy and beautiful in my own way.

This body is not my body. This is me healing.

And it will heal, mostly, leaving a little that will never really go away. Something to remember the experience by, but it will be strong again.

I will be me again.

Until then I will just find a way to remember to celebrate this body, and all that it has done, bringing me my little ones. This is a sacrifice I am willing to make so that I can have my family. 

I am living my dream :)

Tober gets a haircut

Today has been a wonderful relaxing day.

I cut Tober's hair into a cute little bob. 

It was getting a little out of control

 We mostly lazied about all day, but Jones and the tots played in the backyard a little while dinner was made.

 My handsome husband in front of our beautiful Lilac tree.

 This is what Tober does whenever I try and get a picture of her, she runs up to the camera and says "cheese!" which means we get lots of goofy close ups. :)

Have plans to eat lots of good food and hang out with family tomorrow , should be great fun.

3 weeks

 Alfy is 3 weeks old today.

He is been a bit of a fusspot lately.

Only happy if he is being held, and even then only happy 50% of the time.

I call  this his " I don't know about this whole earth thing..." look.

C made that look all the time.

So far at 3 weeks I can say Alfy is a bit timid, likes to be cuddled and bundled more than being open and free, and of course rocking or bouncing is the best. He loves to follow my voice with his eyes. He doesn't make as happy of faces as Tober did, and not nearly as terrified as C. He will take a binky but isn't in love with it. He has a handsomeness that makes me smile. My favorite thing is when I hold him on my chest and rub my cheek against his uber soft hair.

Sometimes I look at him and already feel a sadness that one day He won't be my baby anymore, so I give him an extra few kisses while I still can.

His eyebrows and lashes are blonde which makes me think he will lose his darkness and be a bit more toe headish like his sister. Both C and Tobster inherited their Daddy's super long lashes, but Alfy's are short and stumpy.

There are times, like right now when I can't put him down without hearing the crying, that there is no magic in holding him, but there are still those times when I pick him up and realize just how amazing and wonderful he is and how happy I am he is here with us. 

Tell me no lies..

Watching TV this week I simply could not get over the many lies I was told about so called "Amazing" people.

It is one thing to love an artist for their art, but as Reality TV grows so does the list of Stars who are famous simply for being on TV, usually doing something shocking or extreme, but having few if any admirable qualities.

Two examples

Lady Gaga.

Amazing voice.

very talented.

People call her brave and fearless, because there isn't anything she wouldn't do.

Sometimes when someone stands for Everything, they really stand for nothing. 

Her attempts to represent individual worth are hollow to me because of it. As I am typing this I watched her performance on the American Idol finale, She basically reenacts having sex on the stage. It is just vulgar.

2nd

NeNe Leakes from the real housewives, but was also on the Celebrity Apprentice.

The words I have heard used to describe her are "great" and "fun"

I have never seen a clip of her when She wasn't fighting. 

Fighting isn't even the right word, because that implies it was 2 way, and sometimes it is, but  when its not its is just plain bullying. 

I have been treated that way a few times in my life and it was horrifying.

There was nothing great or fun about it.

Yet She has fans simply for doing this.

That just makes me sad.

On the flip side

This past season of survivor I was impressed by one contestant named Matt, who to me was brave and fearlessly professed his faith and showed strength in a rough situation touching the lives of his fellow contestants.

Or on Dancing with the Stars, 

Star Romeo talked a lot about the importance of being a good role model and about dreaming big and working hard to achieve your dreams. I thought He was a gentleman, and showed manners. What!someone actually can control their actions on tv! impossible.

Who we are is how we behave ourselves, and the more it becomes culturally acceptable to behave however we want without consequence or responsibility for those actions the more I find myself wanting to take a stand against it and say it is not ok. 

We don't have to perfect, I don't expect tv to be, but we could strive to be a little better than downright awful, and please no more hero worshiping of such unheroic people.

Juggling

My life is a juggling act.

having a third child means coming up short sometimes.

Today I was in the middle of a "stinky" Tober diaper change, when Alf started a pretty extreme cry from his car seat. We had just gotten home from taking my Mom to the airport. {miss you already!}

He had to cry, and cry until I was finished with what I was doing.

That was one of many times today that I had to ignore one child to help another.

There are moments as a Mom when all I can see are my short comings, 

But there are also times when I am stronger than I thought I could be.

When I see my children happy and carefree, and able to learn and grow in an environment where you can  tell they know they are safe and loved, I know its ok that we didn't eat dinner til 8, or that C watched way too much tv.  

I had a pretty busy day filled with chores that had to happen. Meaning I was out most of the day with 3 kids by myself for the first time. It started with a trip to the airport and back, and ended with a trip to city hall to pay a water bill so that the water didn't get shut off. 

It could have been a high stress day, but everything that needed to happen happened, and when we were done we took the hose into the backyard and just played in the water, cooling off from what was a very hot day.

Jones is off helping his brother Buckshot with his film. I miss him, and miss Pipsta, looking forward to this all being done so we can hang out as much as possible before they leave for Hawaii for 3 weeks.

Also hoping to get in a photo shoot with hAha to capture Alfy's newborness before it disappears forever. 

Like I said, my life is a juggling act.