Tanya

So I have a new roomate here in tx. Her name is tanya and she has 3 kids. She is also an army wife and it's great to have some company. Things have just gone so well here and I really feel that I am where I am supposed to be. I am greatful to be around more experienced young moms and watch them with their kids. I feel like I am learning alot.

across from the alamo

I love this picture of C. He has such gorgeous big eyes. It still amazes me that his hair is so light compared to mine.

feels like forever

The Internet hasn't been working for the past two weeks but it feels a lot longer than that. It's been an interesting two weeks for me. I don't feel depressed and I don't always feel happy. Actually some days I just feel void of emotion. Other moments make up for moments like that. Like yesterday. Yesterday I had a perfect hour w/ Jones, that hour made the last two weeks seem like nothing. Poor C, his life is all Topsy turvy right now.

The secret Language of color

*Pure Red is a statement color and highly individual—dramatic, vibrant and stimulating. By contrast, the Muted and Shaded tones of red are soft, cozy, personal and intimate, with just a hint of passion and romance.

*Combining the drama of red with the cheerfulness of yellow, Pure Orange is luminous, bright, glowing and bold. The Muted and Shaded tones offer a bright but subtle glow that’s restful, earthy, natural and soothing.

*Closest to sunlight, Pure Yellow conveys hospitality and promotes deep feelings of well-being. The Muted hues make quiet backgrounds for busy lives, while the Shaded Yellows have a soft, glowing presence that speaks of home, harvest and abundance.

*The most neutral color in the spectrum, Pure Green is strongly associated with nature. Muted Greens are calm, restful and soothing, while the Shaded variants project trust and order, encouraging contemplation, serenity and repose.

Evoking the emotions of sky and sea, Pure Blue is calming, expansive and cool. Appearing to recede, it raises ceilings and pushes back walls. The Muted hues recall summer skies, azure mountain lakes and blue-green ocean depths, while the dignified Shaded Blues exude comfort and ease.

*Pure Purple has the clarity of blue and the warmth of red. The deep colors convey grandeur and luxury, while the lighter shades are elusive and intriguing. Muted Purples are airy and peaceful, and the Shaded Purples are soft, shadowy and undeniably romantic.

In my opinion some of these are more cheesy than helpful or true. I am definately red, but yellow and green are also colors i enjoy in my home.

peace

I love this room. I wish I could design things like this, that are more simple. I often feel like I over complicate a room. It's probably because this is not what I look like inside that I am unable to create it. If it was my room there would be red pillows on the bed, the vase would be red and the flowers would be white ( daisies or orchids), and it would probably be over crowded w/ pictures, which I have a tendency to do.

kisses in exchange for anything I want

As I sat down to write this C runs up to me, climbs up on my lap and gives me a huge kiss. Before I have time to think, he is pushing all of the buttons on the computer. When I tell him no he gives me this look, a look that says "but Mom, I gave you a kiss."

The title of my blog

This is my documentation of my road to self discovery and of the good things in my life. I have given up control of my life and accepted that God is the one drivng. Somewhere along my path I had stopped praying for strength and started praying for a way out. I may not know everything about the person I want to be, but I do know w/ a certainty that I want to earn my happiness, otherwise I won't really be happy. So I am back on the path I want to be on, and it is in him that I trust.

Military wife and mommy

I often feel torn in two. I don't always feel like I can be there for both my son and my husband in the way they would like me to be. Yet taking time to myself is even scarier than trying to be wonder woman to the two of them. At least in that role I feel like I have prupose. stripped of that I don't always know who I am.