Friday, October 19, 2012

growing pains

Ummm can my kids please just stop growing and changing on me, please?

The moment I feel like we have gotten into a routine and predictable behaviors with the kids they change, again, in ways that are fun, hilarious, amazing but most importantly right now, exhausting. Alfred is currently the worst offender. He went from my quiet observant child, chill so long as he was held or had food in his high chair to mister yell all he time. At first it was more of a "wow, is that my voice?!" happy yell, but it has evolved into a "I can't talk and I am mad so I will yell" about everything. If I poor milk into someones bowl before his, if he wants up or down, if I am sitting and he doesn't like it, but most especially if someone has an iproduct of any kind he will not stop yelling or grabbing and pushing until it is his. He is the most hard headed (literally :) 18 mo I have ever had. I sometimes like to add fuel to the fire by asking him to give me a kiss when he is yelling at me for something. He shakes his head (hasn't learned to say no, too busy yelling) and refuses to do it. Although he has learned to give me a big aggressive hug which he thinks is just as good and then continue to yell for what he wants. We are at the beginning stages of time out and getting in trouble with him and I am finding myself wishing I had the time and energy I had with C to talk with Alfred more and discipline better. I also find myself expecting Alfred and Tober to respond like C did/does and they never do. So there are the growing pains of learning to communicate with the extremely different personalities I have been so blessed with.

Since I am sure you are probably tired or bored by my talk of Alfred and his newly developed voice, lets talk about Tober, my yes/no girl. She has become defiant rude and extremely indecisive or I suppose you could call it wanting everything to be her idea. It is actually pretty cute, cause she is so cute, but it is also obnoxious :) Since she was tiny she did this thing where she says no first and then yes. Since I am aware that she does this I always ignore the no and just wait for her to say yes, but it has developed into something much worse...

this is a conversation we had last night.

me- Do you want to sleep with Clark? (she was in clark's bed)
her - no
me - ok then come get in your bed
her- but I do.
me- ok then fold your arms for prayer
her -but I don't!! (angry)
back and forth a few more times til I say- TOO bad!
tuck her in and say goodnight
She says "somebody is making me just so angry"

later I find her in her own bed, and first thing in the morning she tells me 'I just wanted to sleep in my bed'

Now apply that to every conversation we have.

She also likes to say these phrases often
"leave me alone"
"just stop telling me"
"I wasn't talking to you"
I say, Tober that is rude and she says "it just isn't"

I try talking to her but I haven't been able to figure out a way yet that I feel like actually gets through to my beautiful, rude little 3 year old.

I feel like I am figuring it our slower than they are.

Then last but not least we have C, boy genius, who I feel I am letting down constantly by letting him get away with playing so many video games/TV watching. He is so smart and his brain just absorbs information, yet as his Mom I worry that I don't provide him with things that stimulate his mind or push him. Then he has the role of being the oldest and I demand so much from him, he helps so much around the house and with his siblings but I feel like I am harsh with him when he is being goofy or not paying attention when he does things "he knows he shouldn't" Sometimes he acts pouty, whiney and silly when the others are already acting out  I get so frustrated and the " knock it off"s and "you know better"s come out. I used to talk with him more about his behavior and work things out with him, now it is a quick reprimand and negative tone more often than not.

And here I am with this fourth little one growing inside of me, kind of wondering if I can keep up.

Hopefully they will be able to forgive me even though I can't and they will know that I loved them through all these growing pains. At least give me an A...maybe B :) for effort.


hAha said...

I love you, now, go watch this.

You are doing amazing, crys!

The Hull Family said...

I am so grateful for your honesty and REAL post. I needed to hear this right now. It's good to know that other people struggle with their kids and sometimes feel like less than a perfect parent. I sure do appreciate you and I think you are amazing to do all that you do without a husband. Hang in there Crystal!