I was in the car, on my way to get free legal aid. The purpose of the legal aid is too fight for our deposit, or the 82% that our landlord decided to keep. I needed to print some documents before my meeting, but I left the house with only $1.25 in change, which is all the money I have. I had forgotten to pick through my jewelry bowl for more and realized I wouldn't have enough change to get all my documents printed. I searched through the car and found a dime. The thought crossed my mind that what I was doing wasn't worth it. Why was I waisting my brother's gas, and my time on money I was probably never going to see again.
It was a quick moment of discouragement, then I had the idea that my sister's house was on the way to the library, I stopped and she gave me some extra change, and I was back on track. I got to the library, sat down at the computer and as soon as I tried to login up popped a notice that my account was suspended til I paid for some scratches on a DVD. I wasn't going to be able to print what I needed.
Eventually I got there on time, didn't end up needing the documents, and left happy and with what I came for. Somehow I felt grateful for my struggle of trying to make $1.25 go farther than it possibly could, leading to thoughts of "I can pay them in gum and cough drops." because despite how desperate my situation seemed, I had a car, a sitter, a way to get extra change, and the answers I needed, all given to me for free with other people's sacrifice. I am working on being less ashamed of needing the help and being grateful to the people who give it.
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