My testimony wasn't something that I stumbled upon one day. I don't have a conversion story or a pinnacle moment of change. I have just always known that God lives, that he knows who I am and that he loves me. So for me it was never really a choice, I aready believed.
When it came to love I had a very sensible approach, I knew that although it was a feeling it was also very much a choice, and that if I was going to commit to someone for time and all eternity it was a choice I would have to make everyday of my life, to love him, forever. But then there are those moments, like right now, when it doesn't feel like it is a choice. When I realize I love Jones, with everything that I am. Like I can get by with out him and put on a brave face, but I don't want to.
I have come to terms with the fact that there will be many times in our marriage that we will be seperated for unknown amounts of time. I can see the big picture and know that if we stck with it we will be together forever. But tonight as I lay here all alone, i'll cry myself to sleep and wish he was here.