Thursday, October 13, 2011

Mom Questions

Alfy has separation anxiety.
This is where he hangs out whenever I cook.
It makes him pretty happy and honestly sometimes I forget He is there.

*editor's note: this is one of the rare moments homeboy isn't wailing at the top of his lungs because his mom isn't holding him. It was probably taken two seconds after he was put down. He doesn't last much longer than that. - Jones

Anyways, I had some mom questions and thought I would address them here.

1: Halloween costumes. I had been planning on having our family go as the gang from Speed Racer for Halloween, but, sometimes, when I let myself think about it, I wonder if I should let O. pick something that she would like, like a princess, or a butterfly. Also, I know she is only two, and she probably will not care if she is Speed Racer's monkey, but, eh. Just makes me wonder.

2: On a similar note, once I have enough monies, I want to buy C. some yellow corduroy shoes from Tom's. I have thought about it more than once, and realized he would probably like the red ones, since red is his favorite color. He tells me this pretty much every day, but I want him to have the yellow ones. I'm shallow like that :)

Both of these things don't really matter - they're small things in the long run. But, they are also parts of my children's personalities that I appreciate. What are your thoughts?


Carrie said...

OHHHH this is something I struggle with too. It only gets harder as your kids get older. Sorry. Like right now, Maggie who's now 10 will sometimes do her own hair in this super ugly (I think so anyway) way and she feels so stylish and cute. I just want to tell her it's horrible. Do it MY way! I know what the right answer is. THe RIGHT answer is probably that we need to let our kids have it their way if it's truly a inconsequential decision. Then, when it's a serious choice regarding life altering decisions, our kids will be more likely to follow our advice and take their parents seriously. And maybe I'm way overthinking this since you're only talking shoes and Halloween costumes, but it's been on my mind lately and now you get to hear about it!

Singin' Heart said...

We're in that same stage too...
With tober I would say have her be a monkey unless she just flat out tells you no - no sence in fighter her - she's young enough that she will have years of being a princess or whatever she wants.
But with Clark I would just ask him and even tell him that you think the yellow ones would be super cute on him but in the end it's his decision - nothing worse than having your kid not wear what you bought them - cause t-pants just will refuse to put it on {again, not worth the battle}.
Or if Clark doesn't fight you on things (like tucker will for me) I would probably get him the yellow ones without giving him the choice (that sounds bad) but I'm with you and I like my kids to look cute and I'll be in control of that as long as they let me ;)
...bottom line...(my opinion)
If it's going to cause issues or make things difficult, listen to your kids. If not, they have the rest of their lives to make choices like these, so why not, if you have a preference make it for them right now. They are only 2 and 4 not 10 and 12...again my opinion ;)

Plus, I know you allow them to express themselves in so many ways on a day to day basis - if you were wanting to control everything I would then tell you to back off.
You're a good mama, you'll make the best decision for you and your you girl.

{being a parent is tough sometimes}

Singin' Heart said...

Side note: i agree that the yellow shoes would look super cute on Clark ;) and I still think it fits his personality, even if red is his favorite color.

hAha said...

here i am being contrary. red.

MelancholySmile said...

My two cents:

When Little Miss C first got her own room, I decorated it all nice. I especially loved the little vignette I created on her dresser, but found that every few days, I'd come in and find she'd added all kinds of tacky jewelry and 'treasures' she'd emptied from her pockets. It spoiled the look, so I'd clean it all up just to find the same thing a few days later. Once I realized she was 'decorating' I let it be.

I figure I try to give the kids lots of choices and control and freedom over things that I don't have a strong opinion about. Sometimes I run into something they care about strongly, and I back off, and other times I care more strongly, so they aren't given a choice.

I vote Tober dresses like a monkey and C gets red shoes, unless you can get him excited (or at least unresistant) to wear yellow.

Either way, you're doing great.

(and man, is it hard to function with a baby that needs to be held all the time!)

merelyLooking said...

Take it from a woman who had her clothes picked out and laid on the bed for her til she was 12ish, choice is nice. Being asked is nice. Being listened to is nicest. So I'd show O the monkey costume, and unless she's scared of it, I'd do your ensemble and it'll be super cute. Go ahead and tell C how much you like the yellow, but he gets to choose in the end. And if he chooses red tell him how cute he looks, so he knows there's no guilt for not going your way.