Merry-Land

Greetings, from the East Coast!!! we are getting all settled in over here in Maryland.
We arrived mid December, the kids and I flying in a few hours earlier than Jones, our car managed to arrive just after we did so we were able to have it right away to go and meet him at the airport. We spent our first few days in a nice hotel by the airport, a bit terrified of the unfamiliar world around me. Everything was exhausting and new in a way that made my head hurt. Then we packed up and headed to temporary housing on post, as soon as we got on base my heart seemed to calm a bit. I naturally navigated my way around, finding the commissary and housing office on my own. We were told that a house would be available in a few days, and once I saw it my heart settled even more. It was cozy, and settled perfectly next to C's school and the Commissary. With a fenced yard and play ground, it seemed unquestionably perfect for our family. The housing office expressed their concerns that it was too small for our "growing" (meaning abnormally large) family and encouraged us to wait until Feb for a larger house to become available. We were swayed for a few hours before it became very clear that it wasn't the right decision for us. Besides, what they didn't realize is, small spaces and I have worked together before :) and that most our furniture is miniature anyways. So on the Friday before Christmas we moved into our 1200 Sq ft 4bd townhome. :) and I couldn't be happier. We spent the following days unpacking like crazy,  putting up Christmas as we went, making it feel like home. We have been moved in almost a week and Heaven seems like an appropriate word for how it has been.

Maryland still feels foreign and strange to me but base living is settling in surprisingly well. Having my other half back has made everything seem so much more accomplishable and satisfying in the process. We will figure this place out and we will do it together.

The kids adore having their things, a home, a play room and most importantly, Dadoo!!
Overall we have had a pretty amazing Christmas this year, and I feel so blessed to have my family back together again. What an end to a crazy year.

The Value of Christmas

I have heard a lot on radio and TV that because of the economy so many people are so stressed out by this Christmas season that they would rather skip over it all together. This has made me think about the last 7 years that we have struggled financially. I remember how when the economy first started taking a dive it was kind of nice to hear people talking about budgets, and ways to DIY and thrift. It seemed like the world had come a notch down to my level.
In the 7 Christmas' I have share with Jones we have never gone without. Whether we were able to provide it for ourselves or by the hands of other people we have always had presents to open, food to eat, music to sing, loved ones around us and the strength and Joy that the season brings.

We have had years that our family was able to fulfill a tradition of going to cut down a tree. But there was one year that we didn't get a tree until the day after, when we took one from the curb of a store that was throwing them out, and last year we were given one to use.

No matter what our circumstances were, nothing seemed to change the fact that we have been given the gift of hope. We have been blessed with the gift of understanding peace. We know who we are, and we know our Savior.

I love Christmas and hope there is never a year I let monetary hardships take away hope and peace. I wish for that same spirit to be with those who feel like they can't find it. That they will find joy in the simple gifts that we can give each other. Say Merry Christmas when you see someone. If you can light lights on your home, do it. If you can carol, go caroling. The more you give the more you invite that spirit. One thing I have learned is that when you think you have nothing to give, there is always something.


We are not alone. You are not alone.

Merry Christmas

I woke up late this morning, at 8:30, still tired. As I struggled to keep both eyes open at the same time the thought ran through my head 'it's ok I slept in because Jones will get the car packed, and perhaps I can persuade him to feed the kids breakfast.' After 2 months of being alone you think these thoughts wouldn't come so much, but when you are pregnant and 8:30 in the morning feels too early :) they still come.

We are heading to AZ today to have thanksgiving with some H family. I am so happy and feel so lucky to be with them all. It should be kind of crazy for the next few days...what am I saying its not like it will be a house full of 10 kids under 11yrs old or anything :)

After I rolled out of bed, I started our day right. Mini chocolate donuts, bananas and milk. The kids have been either sick or just in a mood the last couple of days, very emotional and crying hysterically at the drop of a hat. I am trying to prepare us physically but in every other way as well for the 12 hour drive. Just another adventure for the memory book.

Love you Jones. We wish you were here.


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Here we are

I can't say who, what or why, but last night I received some bad news from a family member of mine. Heart broken I called my little sister. Hearing the distress in my voice, she immediately offered to come over. A little while later, both my sisters were here and I was so grateful for our chance to be there and support each other.
Although I woke up with a heavy heart and tear dried cheeks, I felt like a warm blanket had been put over me. I know that my Heavenly father and Savior heard my unspoken prayers as I slept last night and I can feel their presence with me.


“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

C.G. Jung

"come with full purpose of heart, and cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you. And while his arm of mercy is extended towards you in the light of the day, harden not your hearts. "(Book of Mormon, Jacob, Chapter 6)






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A little bit of home

Just sent Jones another care package. We have have a little over a month left!! It was time for some love from home. He has been sleeping on a mattress with only a poncho for the last month so I sent him a blanket which C picked out and is jealous of, some holiday drink from ikea, a fun past time, satsuma's to remind him of his family and home, and Aussie bites cause I had been craving them ever since his mom sent us some this summer :)
Love you honey, enjoy.

Grateful

Last month was a tough month for me. I felt heavy emotionally and distant spiritually, so I made a promise to myself that I would find time everyday to pray more, read my scriptures and talk to my kids instead of just at them. It being November and all, I also figured I would focus on the things I am grateful for.
Today I am grateful for the book of Alma.
I am grateful for a car that works.
But mostly I am grateful for 5 fingers


And five toes


And for a beautiful beating heart.
My sweet baby is healthy and seems perfectly happy doing summer salts in my belly :)





I am grateful for surprises. We were sure baby # 4 was a girl... Not so much :)



I am going to bed happy, and feeling the benefits on focusing on my many blessings.
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Pay day

With payday officially here my to do list feels a bit overwhelming. Places I want to go and things I want to do, all while hauling my crew around with me. It is a bit daunting. I already know one of these saturdays I am going to pay a babysitter and have myself a good long mom day, but for now it's still business, getting our van fixed (freedom!) groceries etc. I did however make the drive to Target yesterday where I splurged on Burt's bees lip balm and orange nail polish.







Lighting candles, listening to music and enjoying these little splurges, I might actually survive this month
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All you single ladies

I don't know how you do it. Even though my dad was around when I was a kid he usually worked which means my mom went to a lot of school, church and holiday functions alone with all us kids(I have 5siblings:)
I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm today and just layed in bed thinking about everything I had to do today with out my mom or Jones here, and telling myself it is going to be great. It is going to be smooth. There will be no crying from me or kids. We will be festive and happy. We will take naps!

And at the end of the day I will wonder how I did it and we will start again tomorrow.
3 more minutes til my alarm...
Happy Halloween :)

growing pains

Ummm can my kids please just stop growing and changing on me, please?

The moment I feel like we have gotten into a routine and predictable behaviors with the kids they change, again, in ways that are fun, hilarious, amazing but most importantly right now, exhausting. Alfred is currently the worst offender. He went from my quiet observant child, chill so long as he was held or had food in his high chair to mister yell all he time. At first it was more of a "wow, is that my voice?!" happy yell, but it has evolved into a "I can't talk and I am mad so I will yell" about everything. If I poor milk into someones bowl before his, if he wants up or down, if I am sitting and he doesn't like it, but most especially if someone has an iproduct of any kind he will not stop yelling or grabbing and pushing until it is his. He is the most hard headed (literally :) 18 mo I have ever had. I sometimes like to add fuel to the fire by asking him to give me a kiss when he is yelling at me for something. He shakes his head (hasn't learned to say no, too busy yelling) and refuses to do it. Although he has learned to give me a big aggressive hug which he thinks is just as good and then continue to yell for what he wants. We are at the beginning stages of time out and getting in trouble with him and I am finding myself wishing I had the time and energy I had with C to talk with Alfred more and discipline better. I also find myself expecting Alfred and Tober to respond like C did/does and they never do. So there are the growing pains of learning to communicate with the extremely different personalities I have been so blessed with.

Since I am sure you are probably tired or bored by my talk of Alfred and his newly developed voice, lets talk about Tober, my yes/no girl. She has become defiant rude and extremely indecisive or I suppose you could call it wanting everything to be her idea. It is actually pretty cute, cause she is so cute, but it is also obnoxious :) Since she was tiny she did this thing where she says no first and then yes. Since I am aware that she does this I always ignore the no and just wait for her to say yes, but it has developed into something much worse...

this is a conversation we had last night.

me- Do you want to sleep with Clark? (she was in clark's bed)
her - no
me - ok then come get in your bed
her- but I do.
me- ok then fold your arms for prayer
her -but I don't!! (angry)
back and forth a few more times til I say- TOO bad!
tuck her in and say goodnight
She says "somebody is making me just so angry"

later I find her in her own bed, and first thing in the morning she tells me 'I just wanted to sleep in my bed'

Now apply that to every conversation we have.

She also likes to say these phrases often
"leave me alone"
"just stop telling me"
"I wasn't talking to you"
I say, Tober that is rude and she says "it just isn't"

I try talking to her but I haven't been able to figure out a way yet that I feel like actually gets through to my beautiful, rude little 3 year old.

I feel like I am figuring it our slower than they are.

Then last but not least we have C, boy genius, who I feel I am letting down constantly by letting him get away with playing so many video games/TV watching. He is so smart and his brain just absorbs information, yet as his Mom I worry that I don't provide him with things that stimulate his mind or push him. Then he has the role of being the oldest and I demand so much from him, he helps so much around the house and with his siblings but I feel like I am harsh with him when he is being goofy or not paying attention when he does things "he knows he shouldn't" Sometimes he acts pouty, whiney and silly when the others are already acting out  I get so frustrated and the " knock it off"s and "you know better"s come out. I used to talk with him more about his behavior and work things out with him, now it is a quick reprimand and negative tone more often than not.

And here I am with this fourth little one growing inside of me, kind of wondering if I can keep up.

Hopefully they will be able to forgive me even though I can't and they will know that I loved them through all these growing pains. At least give me an A...maybe B :) for effort.

WY

At the beginning of this month I made a phone call to a good friend of mine, I met her when I very first started this blog way back when Jones and I did a stint in TX with the Ntnlguard. I wanted to vent and get advice about how to make sure we get paid since the army has a habit of being slow about these things. After talking for a bit I, off handed, said wish we could come see you, {which was impossible due to our lack of car and money...} Then being the crazy spontaneous and hospitable person she is, my friend said that her brother in law was coming up the next day, and she was sure he and his wife would bring us up.

I laughed, it seemed too far fetched that I could leave in less than 24 hours. I mean, I am old and have responsibilties, not to mention a kid in school. After giving it some thought and talking with Jones, I threw caution to the wind, and now here we are in the tiny town of Baggs, WY {pop. 440} They have graciously taken us in, fed us and entertained us as if it were nothing. It is a pleasant change. They live on a ranch and there are horses and cows right outside the door, the kids get to enjoy playing with their kids who are older 11,10, 8 and love to play with my kids. Alfred is adored and Tober has a girl to take her away to play dress up. Since they all go to work and school during the day we have the house to ourselves, which is nice sometimes.
Tonya wanted my help decorating and bought paint and a few supplies, so I have been busy during the day while people are gone and mine are napping, painting away while listening to music.

I finally, a week after getting here, got rid of my cough and stuffy nose. Now I only suffer from being a tired pregnant lady :) it is welcome.

After a month apart I am really missing my husband, we get to talk on the phone a lot which is nice but often the phone calls are interrupted by yelling crazy children. It is good to know that after all this time, we are still each others best friend. We are coming up on our 7 year anniversary, Jones is scheduled to graduate from this training on our anniversary, a nice gift would be getting to see him soon after that...we'll see.

Well I am off to make lunch and paint more kitchen cabinets.

Pinned it, Did it.

When I first started hearing about pinterest, Jones would say, "you are going to become obsessed like all my friends wives", I just thought, great one more site to waste time at. I made a promise that if I ever used pinterest it would be to help me accomplish things I wanted to do. I have been pretty successful so far and use it to inspire my actual life.

So anyways just wanted to share a few of my pinned it and did it experiences.

Anthroplogie T (that actually went on sale for a good price)

I love that it looks cozy and yet nice still not your ordinary T-shirt

To make my own I used a beautiful light pink scallop print cotton from my local Joann's, and to layers of black chiffon. 

I was terrified to sew with chiffon but for this project it was a breeze. I used a french seam to keep the insides clean and bias tape around the neck and arms. Cost $10, and about 45 minutes to sew. :)

Next

Sugar Bee Crafts Giant print for $13

I knew I wanted to get a giant print of each of my babies once we get to Maryland, but I jumped the gun and got one of Tober cakes for her birthday. I went to kinkos and got a 22"x 28" poster for 2.78 cents

I chose those measurements because they are the measurements for the ready cut foam boards you can get at any Target, Wal-mart etc. another 2.50 for my board and this project cost me a little of $5

Of course, the sugar bee version also involves mod podge which I didn't do. I plan on most likely framing mine, so each one will end up costing about $25-$27

A few more I have done but don't have pictures to show for it.

DIY pencil skirt

Fun and easy.

 DIY heart elbow pads

I cheated and used fleece that I sewed on.

DIY Box spring into bed frame. 

Made such a huge impact for so little effort.

Again easy and cute!

So there you go. If you love Pinterest (like I have come to) use it for more that just blowing your mind :) 

I hope to continue to use it as a resource to take things from just a thought to an actual thing.

I should really try to conquer some of those recipes I pinned...especially the cookies...hmmm next payday for sure.

on a side note, and I am sharing this because I am sure this kind of thing happens to all of us. I have had this project on my mind for the last 18 months and I have never pinned it because I have never seen it done before...until today that is.

I had this idea that I really wanted to hang a piece of art to represent each state we have lived in. I want to get a pretty piece of simple wood and using nails and thread create the shape of the state with a heart for the city we lived in. The only thing that has held me back is that I want a nice place to hang these and we didn't really have that in Provo... anyways...

Look what I found on Apartment Therapy today.

I guess I have something to pin after all...

There is no such thing as an original idea, right? :)

Spare change

I was in the car, on my way to get free legal aid. The purpose of the legal aid is too fight for our deposit, or the 82% that our landlord decided to keep. I needed to print some documents before my meeting, but I left the house with only $1.25 in change, which is all the money I have. I had forgotten to pick through my jewelry bowl for more and realized I wouldn't have enough change to get all my documents printed. I searched through the car and found a dime. The thought crossed my mind that what I was doing wasn't worth it. Why was I waisting my brother's gas, and my time on money I was probably never going to see again.

It was a quick moment of discouragement, then I had the idea that my sister's house was on the way to the library, I stopped and she gave me some extra change, and I was back on track. I got to the library, sat down at the computer and as soon as I tried to login up popped a notice that my account was suspended til I paid for some scratches on a DVD. I wasn't going to be able to print what I needed.

Eventually I got there on time, didn't end up needing the documents, and left happy and with what I came for. Somehow I felt grateful for my struggle of trying to make $1.25 go farther than it possibly could, leading to thoughts of "I can pay them in gum and cough drops." because despite how desperate my situation seemed, I had a car, a sitter, a way to get extra change, and the answers I needed, all given to me for free with other people's sacrifice. I am working on being less ashamed of needing the help and being grateful to the people who give it.






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Sanity

I spent a good part of this week falling apart. A Disappointing and frustrating situation with our previous landlord was the straw that broke the camels back. We were all so sick and miserable that it didn't seem like anything stood between me and sobbing.
Tober had been complaining about her eye since Monday and on Friday she woke up looking like this.

It just kept breaking my heart to see my kids as sick as I was and be equally as useless to help them as I was to help my myself. With or without insurance there seemed no way to make our situation better. With Jones and my mom gone(she is in CA for 2 weeks) the house just fell apart around us. Yesterday despite still being miserably sick, I put every ounce of will power I has into getting our house clean, disinfected, and sick free.

My body fought back giving me fits of coughing, fever and nausea, but by the end of the day I had made great progress. I put the kids to bed with gatorade, eye drops, Tylenol and a humidifier. I felt better, not physically, but spiritually.
Today I woke up determined to pick up where I left off. Fed the kids breakfast and then bathed them all while I disinfected their blankies and bedroom. I did 3 loads of laundry before 10am. Alfred cried the whole time. I didn't I kept myself together. Hugged him, told him I was sorry and put him down for a nap. Then I took a turn for the worse so I tried to sleep as well. That didn't work, Alfred just kept crying. It made me mad. I gave up on my nap and went to sit in the couch so that I wouldn't be tempted to sleep. Soon all my babies were sitting on/ around me. Alfred stopped crying.
I guess they need me, as useless and broken as I am.
Hopefully things will be better.
I am so grateful for all the family that called and gave their support. I know a lot of people care and we appreciate that so much.

I am also grateful for my kids who have been sick for weeks just like me, and although they have mini melt downs, they are loving and sweet, and even helpful.


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What do you do when all you want to do is punch someone in the face?

My old landlord is still haunting my existence with her Stupidity {to put it mildly} and now I am trying t salvage my day and my spirits. We are all sick, still and very temperamental. There is a lot of crying from everyone and I am just trying to survive the day.

New

Yesterday we took Jones to be taken away by the Army for 3 whole months. It was a long and wonderful day. We had a quick summer and fall somehow crept up on me. I was lucky and blessed so much that a lot of the things I wanted to happen over the summer did. One of those things being family pics. I lucked out when a good family friend came into town for a family reunion and was able to come spend the day, eat treats and snap some good pics of our little family.

Did I say little? How 'bout 1 more!!

Yes, another blessing this summer brought was another sweet baby to our family, coming spring next year. We are so happy and feel so blessed. Our children are slowly taking over every inch of our hearts. 

And yes I am bias but seriously....

Can they get any cuter??

I was crazy sick right before these pics were taken, I was lucky the kids were dressed at all! but hair cuts did not happen.

Allowing for pictures like this that make me feel like C looks like he is 16 years old. What the?!? back up a bit ok!

I was proud of all the things that I made that naturally made their way into the pictures unintentionally just because they are well used and loved items, like Alfy's blankie.

Tober shocked me with her posing and serious face, again what are you 13!! knock it off!?!

We kept trying to get her to loosen up and give us a smile, instead she turned to the side and gave us a nice over the shoulder :)

not too old for kisses though :)

and there's that smile!!

Jones sold his bike before he left so I am glad we got to get some shots with it. Good memories.

We were lucky enough that we took photos on a Sunday which meant empty parking lot behind buildings where we could take photos alone with a beautiful back drop and space to do some figure eights.

My goofs

                                                                         Tober says Wut!

Can you believe this is us just last year? and this time next year we will have changed a lot too.

So much to look forward to this year. Fall is sweeping in and I am going to embrace all the new in my life right now, be thankful for all that I have, which is a whole heck of a lot. :)

One week

One week 'til Jones heads to Texas for training. These plans we made months and months ago are finally starting to happen. There are a lot of things I am looking forward to over the next few months and it is hard/weird
to imagine he won't be there. I am so excited for him, and our family though and that part has to be what I hold on to. My Tobercakes has reacted pretty strongly to this move. Although she likes being at Grandma's, there are times when she wants to go "home" and then she often will say, to herself mostly, "home is all empty"and tear up. Last night we were playing just dance on the wii and she says, "this is our just dance, we need to take it home, we don't leave it here right.?!" in her, I am smiling so I don't cry, desperate voice.

Alfy is just becoming a handful! He is growing and growing in personality every day. He has found his voice and isn't afraid to use it. I think e s going to be my biggest challenge while Jones is away :)

We don't have any major plans for this week, our car isn't working, we have no money...but that won't stop us from enjoying time as a family together.

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Colt and Pip are on their way!! So excited for them.They left yesterday morning after a delay thanks to being crazy sick! Lucky for me I am sick today! Ugh, moving as little as possible and relying on my sweet husband.

Here's to feeling better, soon!




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A 3rd Birthday for Tober

Yesterday my sweet little girl turned 3. Early this month She had learned that her birthday was "August firtieth" and She would walk around reciting her full name and her birthday. Then as the day approached her big brother helped her daily with the countdown, reminding her it was almost her birthday. When she woke up She knew right away that it was her day and it was going to be special. We started the day with whole wheat pink nesquick pancakes(don't forget the marshmallows!) I had balloons for her and Auntie Pip came by to drop off her boys,(they spent yesterday cleaning because they are leaving today) She gave Tober Jane her first gift of the day which was a Merida doll. Tober hasn't let go of it since :)

As soon as breakfast was over it was downstairs for all the kids while mommy made the cake and finished other prep for the party that would be later in the day.



My mom helped me accomplish the 4 layer pink ombre cake I wanted to make and Jones helped make proper Tea sandwiches (tasty!).



Just before the party Jones and I realized that the Tea pot we are bought for Tober wouldn't hold water. :/ it is surprisingly hard to find a good child's tea pot unless you order one online and I ran out of time. So Jones set out to fix it. As I was placing the last tray of tea biscuits at the table I hear Jones who is right behind me react to what I know has to be a really bad cut because of the way he reacted. He doesn't usually make a big deal about getting hurt so I knew right away it had to be bad.
It was, my mom took him right away to get stitches and the party carried on with out them.
The kids were hesitant at first but once we got into it they all made plenty of cups of "tea" which consisted of mint leaves, lemon, honey and sugar.


They had free reign over the food and just ate and ate, and drank and drank. Eventually they all were done and since we were waiting for Grandma and Daddy still we played outside, got good and muddy, took a group bath, and still the kids were at the table staring at the cake and they still weren't home.



So we dug into the cake and, since it was pushing bedtime, got the kids in bed right as Daddy and Grandma walked through the door. We lit one candle and sang happy birthday(with kids in bed) and Tober cakes opened her presents. It was a crazy but sweet night and I am so glad she was able to have her cousins here.